


Soft Special

by AlyoshaCrimson



Series: The Soft Clergy [1]
Category: Ghost (Sweden Band)
Genre: F/M, References to Depression, References to bipolar disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-22 14:51:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17664635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlyoshaCrimson/pseuds/AlyoshaCrimson
Summary: You're feeling a depressive low and Special helps you through it





	Soft Special

There you were, laying in bed trying to find the energy to exist. The past week had been exhausting and you’d only had the motivation to get up, complete your obligated tasks for the Clergy and go right back to your room. You’d tried to complete working out, meditation, colouring and reading recreationally but everything felt like a chore, even moving your living meat sack of a body. You awoke over four hours ago, but continued to lay in bed; Your mind going hundreds of miles an hour thinking about anything and everything pertaining to the dark cloud that followed you. 

There was a soft knock on your dorm door, and you decided not to answer in case is was a fellow sister. You didn’t want to be disturbed while in this state of low and you felt if someone sees you like this they would offer unwanted sympathy and attention. You couldn’t control this mood shifting illness, and you’d received enough fake empathy from individuals who had no idea what it was like or didn’t believe it was real to make you want to walk off of a bridge. You’d rather your fellow sisters go on with their day thinking you had the flu than appear in the public eye for all of your depression for the world to spectate.

Another knock came from the door, but this time was louder and more urgent. You contemplated a few moments before peeling back the warm protection of your comforter to look through the peephole of the door in case it was a superior. Almost shockingly, you were met with the concerned looking green orbs of Special ghoul. “Can I come in?” You hesitated. He didn’t particularly need permission, he could just appear anywhere he wanted at anytime, so why was he asking for it? Also, why did he want to see you? You had only interacted when the ghoul a few times and as much as you enjoyed his company you hadn’t let him know about the giant ball and chain that followed you. 

“I know you’re in there, little one, I can see you.” You let out a small laugh imagining if there were any clergy members around to spectate Special outside a sister’s room, calling to her. “One minute.” you answered scanning your room for a pair of pants and a bra as you weren’t wearing either. After pulling on both found articles of clothing, you opened the door of your dorm to find the like-heighted ghoul still there and appearing antsy. You invited him into your dark dwelling and closed the door leaving the two of you in the gloom. 

“Are you okay?” he asked suddenly, “You weren’t at breakfast or lunch.” You motioned to your bed and stated you’d been there since you woke up. He placed the back of his hand on your forehead testing your temperature, checked your pulse and then leaned in to your neck and inhaled deeply. The first two motions you could explain, but the last was oddly out of character for your new friend. A few seconds passed as you stared questionably at the ghoul before he returned standing normally and opened his eyes. “Are you depressed?” His eyes searching yours for a response. You slowly nodded still perplexed. “Is it heartbreak?” His question threw you completely off guard as you’d never mentioned a love interest, nor did you have one. “I’ll take that look as a no.” You realized you had given him a full double take while squinting at him hard. “No, it’s bipolar. Why did you smell me?” you asked bewildered. Special adjusted his cassock and stood as straight as he could. “I was testing your hormones to see if you were ill. I hope I didn’t offend you.” You shook your head no even though you were abruptly conscious of the fact you hadn’t showered in a few days and became awfully self conscious over it.

As if he’d noticed your self esteem plummet, he pulled you into an embrace. Your mind went blank instantaneously and before you knew it you were crying for no obvious reason whatsoever. The ghoul didn’t seem to mind nor care that you were ruining his cassock. He held you closer and ran his long fingers through your hair as you sobbed in the crook of his neck. He rocked you gently, offering an occasional “its okay”. Special continued to stroke your hair and rock you as your ugly crying devolved into sniffle. When you felt it was all over, you pulled away from him, clearing the remainders of tears from your eyes and apologized profusely for the large wet marks all over his shoulder. He replied by handing you a tissue and offering you a bottle of water from who knows where. “Its alright. You should probably sit down. You’re pretty dehydrated. Have some water.” You did as you were told, feeling like a smaller version of yourself, still sniffling from the crying fit you sat on your bed and sipped from the water bottle. 

Special followed you, making sure you made it onto your bed. While you sat and sipped the water, you stomach decided to make its displeasure of you missing two meals known. Special chuckled and, as if he’d known this was coming, pulled two sandwiches from somewhere in his cassock, offering them to you. You took them eagerly and attacked them with a ferocious need. As you finished half of the second sandwich, you began to hiccup and wailed at the pain of the sudden spasm. Special sat beside you and rubbed your back as he encouraged you to drink more water at a weird angle. After a few attempts you cured your hiccups. You sat in silence as your mind started back into the gloom it’d been in before your crying fit. 

After a few minutes passed, Special tilted his head curiously. “Is there anything I can do to help get you out of this slump?” At first your mind was blank, but one option popped up. You immediately tried to shake it out as it seemed like an absurd request of a new friend, never mind a Ghoul. Obviously seeing a dilemma in your head, Special inquired what your thought was and persistently fought with you until you told him what it was. “The thought was cuddling, but I won't ask that of you. It’d be weird.” You replied insistently for him to drop it. “Weird for you?” he asked inquisitively. You didn’t know how to react to his question. Was he alright with the idea? “If it would help you, I wouldn’t mind cuddling.” He said almost confidently, waiting for a yes or no indication from you. After some contemplation, you greeted his eyes and nodded.

He stood, kicked off his shoes, and began to unbutton his cassock. You watched as well as you could in the dim light as he stole a hanger from your bathroom door handle and hung his cassock after shrugging out of it, exposing the plain black pants and a black sleeveless undershirt. “You’ll have to turn around. I can’t cuddle with the mask on and you aren’t allowed to see my face.” You scooched under your comforter to the middle of your bed and turned over. As you got comfortable, you heard the resin mask touch your bedside table and felt the bed dip behind you. Waiting anxiously, making sure to only look ahead out of respect, you felt him adjust his height on the bed to match yours, pull the comforter over both of you and push his arm underneath the neck of your pillow. He made sure to protect your hair, pushing it upward over the edge of your pillow. When his other arm curved around yours, you felt his chest press against your back and his face press lightly into the side of your neck, your pulse lept a few times coming to terms with the proximity of the familiar ghoul. Your nose filled with the smell of musky man and light cologne. The both of you began to breathe together and relax into the mattress as if this were a regular practice. After regulating your pulse and loosening your tense muscles, you began to feel incredibly comfortable. Your mind wandered from the negativity to wondering what he looked like. You don’t know when, but at some point you let sleep take you while Special held you.


End file.
